It’s easier than it sounds, and the only way you’ll know if you’re man enough to do it when the time comes is to roll up your sleeves and stick that knife in deep.  If you think some step-by-step instructions might help, check out the pictures below.

[Click on images to see them in larger size]

Stage one: corpse preparation

Stage one: corpse preparation

The first step is to set up your murder preparation area.  Be sure to have some Sharpies on hand for drawing out your murderous design ahead of time. We opted to tape a garbage bag over our kitchen table to minimize the unpleasant  splatter.  I say ‘minimize’ because Danielle is a bit of a pumpkin-sadist.

Step two: brain removal

Step two: brain removal

This is basically just photographic proof of aforementioned pumpkin-sadism.  If our hallowe’en setup ever lands us in a courtroom, this will make sure I’m not the only one implicated.

Step three: chop-chop, stab-stab

Step three: chop-chop, stab-stab

Make sure your design has cartoony enough ‘dead eyes’ so that any little kids won’t have years of nightmares and hundreds of thousands of dollars in psychiatric bills in their futures.

Going batty

Going batty

Danielle opted for a design that, while unorthodox, was also a little more kid-friendly.  She drew her stencil free-hand from one we found on the net.  Pretty impressive.

Bats prefer the dark

Bats prefer the dark

More impressive at the first test lighting at the tail-end of the carving process.

Step four: test fire

Step four: test fire

Back to the Pumpkinman victim, his test-lighting was also a success.  Notice the bullet hole entry wound on the side of his head.  Apparently it was a nice, clean shot.

Step five: test fitting

Step five: test fitting

It’s always a good idea to take a photo of ANY jack’o’lantern as a replacement for your own head.  Aside from being wicked funny, you can also use it for secondary identification for bank loans or as your passport photo (but only pictures without smiles).

Step six: showin off

Step six: showin' off

Also be sure to take the ever important ‘Headless Horsemen holding his skull’ photo…

More showin off

More showin' off

… or the ‘here’s my carved bats’ photo.  You know, whatever goes.

Step seven: survey entry wound

Step seven: survey entry wound

Once the pumpkin was carved, I stuffed an old ski jacket, ski pants, work gloves and army boots with balloons to look like a human body.  I set my newly murderated corpse against our front porch and cordoned off his murder scene with some very official “Do Not Cross – Police” tape.

Step eight: survey exit wound

Step eight: survey exit wound

Oh, and then I stuffed pumpkin guts into an exit wound I carved into his head.  I guess this is where the post makes the jump from a  PG-13 rating to a solid R.

Step nine: the body in situ

Step nine: the body in situ

And this is my first Pumpkinman staged murder scene. I learned many valuable lessons, but I’m really happy overall with the final set up.

More bats, for effect

More bats, for effect

Just to make things extra scary, Danielle’s bats cast an eerie glow over the whole scene.  Either that, or she was trying to call Batman to solve the murder of Peter Pumpkinhead.

Step ten: light up the murder scene

Step ten: light up the murder scene

And last but not least, we lit up his head and sat back on the porch to await the kiddies who would be frightened by the gory scene that lay in front of them.

Next year, I think I’ll go a little more graphic and have a few victims spread out all over the lawn.  I might even have pumpkinheaded cops arresting a pumpkinheaded murderer and showing a little pumpkinead-brutality.  Yeah, that’ll hit the spot.

2 Responses to “How to Murder a Pumpkinman”
  1. That is some fantastic work guys. I love the fact that your murdered dude is laying across the sidewalk. I hope your trick-or-treaters enjoyed it.

  2. Thanks! Sadly, that’s not the sidewalk, but a little walkway that runs in front of our porch. It would have been pretty awesome to force all the pedestrians to step over it though. I’ll have to remember that for next year.
    The trick or treaters didn’t really notice it, or at least didn’t comment on it, but many of the parents got a chuckle and the neighbours stopped by to have a laugh too.

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