Dave Duncan

"Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway"

Archive for February, 2004


My apartment building has 4 or 5 washing machines in our sub-basement (12 floors below mine) and a number of dryers. They are used frequently, but if I time it right, I can get a few machines all to myself, throw in my coins, load my rancid clothes and then head back to my place to watch some TV. Then I have to switch to the dryer, load more coins, watch more TV, then fold and iron everything. Am I the only one who thinks that this is too much work and is well below my station in life? I’ll just answer for you and say “Yes Dave, it is.”
This is why I pay $.99 a pound to have my laundry washed, dried and folded. Sometimes I get mocked for doing so, but I defend my choice. My time can be better spent than waiting to switch loads and fumble with quarters and loonies. I’m a busy guy with lots of… stuff… to do. I’ve simplified my life by paying for a few simple luxuries, and this is one of them. Now, my next task is to find someone who will iron my shirts (a task I never seem to find time for, and I have to wear a collared shirt to work). After that, I’ll just need someone to spoon feed me and dress me in the mornings. After checking on Google though, I’m not sure I could afford such a service.

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The Future is Here

So this blog was kind of a test to see if I’d enjoy doing it, and I do. I didn’t think I’d stick with it, or update, but apparently I’m not as lazy as I thought. So, after registering a domain name, and getting some server space, I think I’ll be switching this blog to my own site in a few weeks. I’ll let you know when that happens.

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Ian Wright Live

On saturday night, I crammed into a painfully small wooden seat at Convocation Hall (U of T) and sat through an evening of ‘humour and travel’ with Ian Wright. Many of you may know Ian as the witty English host of OLN’s Lonely Planet TV series (Now known in Canada as ‘Pilot Guides’).
What a great show! He was lively and interesting, and for most of the show, I forgot that I was crammed into a seat made for an 8 year old with no legs. I recommend watching his show any chance you can get.
Something interesting… his show is all about world travel, and this ‘lecture’ was geared towards people who have a globetrotting lifestyle, but do these people REALLY watch his show? Would world travellers take the time to watch a show about world travelling, or would they spend the money to purchase the extended cable package to get the network his show is on? Based on the audience questions after his lecture, the answer is clearly ‘no’. Some questions were about his show and directly referred to scenes on his show, other questions had to do with the Simpsons, while others were general travel questions that any travel agent or passport officer would know. For the most part, the questions were boring and stupid, but that didn’t take away from his lecture at all. I give it two thumbs up.

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Odds and Ends

Pineapple Juice is friggin’ AWESOME, and Dickie Roberts Child Star is a better than mediocre movie. I’d rank it well below Tommy Boy, but above Black Sheep. I think most movies rank well below Tommy Boy though… the only guy named Tommy I’ve ever met is a 4 year old boy… Jen’s nephew. I thought Tommy was a more popular name.
I wish I had a monkey, cause then to tell people off I could tell them to kiss my monkey. If they did it, I would respect them again. I’m sure everyone thinks this way. Yes? No? Oh.
The Maritimes got 93 centimetres of snow. Can’t those guys EVER catch a break? C’mon… 93 centimetres. If that much snow fell in Toronto, everyone here would just go crazy and die. Everyone. It’s a fact.

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Badger my Ass, it’s Probably Milhouse

Last night I got a real treat. One of my all-time favourite Simpsons episodes was on TV. It guest stars The Who, but that’s inconsequential… this episode is all about the quotes. I use Simpsons quotes all the time, and this particular show contains the bulk of my overused repertoire. Which leads me to wonder… what is it with guys and quoting stuff? I can’t count the number of times I’ve dropped a quote from a movie or TV show in front of a bunch of people my age, only to get a sincere look of recognition from the guys, and glassy eyed stares from the ladies.
I’d like to think that this points out a difference in how males and females think… that we have a finer attention to detail and capability to retain strings of dialogue, but it’s more likely that it’s only because we watch WAY more TV, and are dumb enough to quote stuff to each other rather than striking up real conversation. That’s not to say we aren’t intelligent, but… well… you know… uh… we… like…. um… stuff. I’m going to go watch some more TV now. Bye.

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Our Culture is Broken

So I’m going winter camping in two weeks, and I realized that I might want to get a pair of REAL winter boots for the occasion. All I have right now is a pair of hiking shoes (not waterproof) and a pair of combat boots (the steel toes don’t take well to cold temperatures). So, I started looking for winter boots… in early February… in Canada. Do you know what I found? Flip flops, sandals and deck shoes. I was told that no one buys winter boots in February and that by (get this) late December, stores stop accepting winter stock. So I’m going to have trouble buying winter boots anytime after the halfway mark in a Canadian winter.
I can understand that people don’t buy winter gear in spring or summer, so stores don’t want that stock sitting around, but just like fashions, aren’t these stock dates just going to get earlier and earlier? Look at The Gap. They start selling stuff two seasons ahead of time, so you can buy all your summer clothes in late November. Are we going to be forced to buy all our gloves, ski jackets and boots in October to make room for the swimsuit buying season in December?
In the meantime, I’m hitting up army surplus.. we’ll see if I can’t find something cheap and upgrade next summer.

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Surfing in a Room

Bonjour, from Ottawa and Winterlude. It feels weird to be surfing while on vacation, but Ottawa is such a plugged in city that most hotel rooms offer free in-room high speed connections.
Last night was pretty cold, and not having been outside yet, I can only assume it’s chilly. It was clear and sunny first thing this morning, but right now it’s windy and blowing snow. Perfect weather for a skate down the canal.
A bientot!

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What’s Your Dream Job?

As part of my job search, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about what my perfect job would be like, and I’ve settled on some ideal jobs for Dave Duncan…
– Writer for The Daily Show, or Saturday Night Live
– Ad copy writer for Commerical Ad Agency (writing scripts for TV and Radio Ads)
– Screenwriter (I’m too lazy to do this)
– Writer for a music magazine… not Rolling Stone… one that doesn’t suck.
How about you?

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