Dave Duncan

"Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway"

Archive for April, 2005

Bedroom Archaeology: A Science Dissected

Good day, and welcome to Bedroom Archaeology: A Science Dissected. In today’s module, we will be discussing the investigation of layers of floor sediment, and the use of those findings to create a timeline.

Please turn in your textbooks to page 33, and refer to figure 7.2… “Dave Duncan’s bedroom circa April 29th, 2005 8:20am”. Here, the floor sediment is made up of a combination of fresh and clean clothes (left on the floor after being laundered), worn but clean clothes (worn once and not put away), and dirty clothes (severely so… mostly socks). The first layer appears to be mostly clothes worn to the office, especially button-up shirts which are spread out (presumably so the subject can fool himself into thinking that they won’t get wrinkled). Under this is a layer of cottage clothing and other sundry cottage items (sleeping bag, guitar, books, etc..). Finally, before reaching the floor, we find the heaviest layer… the casual layer. This layer is made up of jeans and cool t-shirts.

We can deduce, given the structure of the layering, that the subject doesn’t dress casually as often as he’d like, and that while digging for casual clothes (say on a friday where things are a little more lax at work), he will no doubt notice that three layers of clothing, books, and musical instruments makes for quite a mess in his bedroom.

On that note, our time appears to be up. For next week, please read chapters 9 and 10 in your textbooks and we’ll be discussing “Dust Bunnies Under the Bed: Will they evolve?”.

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Never A Good Day

I just got back from having a cavity drilled and filled at the dentist, which I rarely mind. My dentist is AWESOME, and he’s very good at what he does, so I rarely feel any discomfort or pain. Some things are unaviodable, however.

No less than an hour ago, I had little tiny logs of cotton batting stuffed into my cheeks. The horror of this is unfathomable to most of you reading this. Just imagine having your mouth filled with cockroches. Yeah… that was my afternoon. I hate cotton batting. It squeaks. Even with freezing, I could feel the cotton rubbing against my teeth, and hear that horrible squeaky rubbing noise it makes.

Speaking of which… my birthday caramels are STILL in the box buried in cotton balls.

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A Question of Faith?

I was talking with Shari-Anne last night, and somehow (with a long logical progression that I won’t get into here) we got talking about the phenomenon known as ‘Stigmata’. Basically, Stigmata are the wounds suffered by Christ at His crucifiction, but it’s also the name for a phenomenon where people apparently exhibit these wounds without causing them. They just appear.

Now, I’m a huge fan of Christian mysticism (if you want to call it that). I’m a firm believer in miracles, and the power of God to do unbelievable things here on earth. After all, He created all of this, so limiting Him is pretty pointless.

Still, I have a lot of trouble understanding the purpose of someone exhibiting the stigmata. I’m not sure why God would inflict it on someone. I mean, if we look at the example of Jesus’ miracles in the Bible, He healed and cured, raised a man from the dead, and gave people a sense of purpose and self-worth.

Some might say that much like the weeping statues of Jesus and Mary, or the appearances of their forms in everyday places, the stigmata are God’s way of showing His existence, but I find that a little redundant too. Why would He make a statue cry when He created every living thing on earth? Why would He make a vaguely human shape appear in a smear on a window when He has complete Dominion over all the Earth? He doesn’t need to prove anything to us that He hasn’t already proven, but maybe that’s just me.

Does a Jesus-shaped potato chip say something to mankind that isn’t said by looking at a tree and realizing how complicated and beautiful it is? Or by watching a thunderstorm roll in, or seeing a child being born?

Still, every so often on the evening news, we see crowds flocking to see the latest so-called ‘miracle’, where a watermark under a highway bridge looks like Mary. Why do these events impact people? What do you think?

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A Sea of Blue

So many empty seats. Scores upon scores of them. (Here’s where I go on my old man rant…) Back when I was young, games used to sell-out, and if they didn’t, they were close. You’d never see an entire empty section, or see most of the 500 level closed off to fans.

It was really sad to see the Skydome (or ‘The Rogers Centre’) fallen from glory… almost as sad as seeing the Jays fallen from glory. Still, we saw a pretty good game… for baseball.

In case you don’t know, I’m not the most engaged sports fan, and baseball is a little too slow to keep my always distracted attention. Last night was a GOLDMINE of people-watching though. Shari-Anne and I kind of tuned out the game around the 5th inning and turned our attention to our neighbours. Both Brad and Logan chipped in for bits and bites as well… going so far as to take photos so we could see what someone was reading. Nice. We should be detectives.

First, there was the woman who appeared to be memorizing text for a TV voiceover. She was with her husband and her husband’s friend. She didn’t care about the game, and eventually got up and left in a huff, but her husband didn’t seem to care. We figured out a whole scenario for them… she was really prim and proper, but he seemed kind of rough around the edges (and picked his nose a lot), so we figured they married young and he was probably something special in high school, but peaked at 18. Sad, eh?

Second, there was this guy who looked like Hyde from ‘That 70’s Show’ who got busted by security for drinking from a flask. Two guards moved in on him and swept him out of the crowd. I was hoping for something a little more exciting.

Third, there was this guy standing by our gate watching the crowd. At first I thought he might be security, but he was wearing a TransAm t-shirt, but he didn’t have a mullet, so I thought he could be ‘undercover security’. Also known as a ‘snitch’. Later on, we figured it’s more likely that he was just a creep or pervert. I love that we gave him the benefit of the doubt for a really long time.

We topped the night off with some MONSTER burritos from Burrito Boyz and some standing in the rain… always a good time. Thanks to Jared for organizing this, and I’m in for next time. I’m going to bring a camera and a notebook so I can keep track of everyone around me and all the lies I make up about them. 🙂


Last Night’s Sunset

I had a pretty laid back evening last night. I was feeling mellow and tired, and the cool grey day just amplified that. I wasn’t sad, mind you… quite the opposite actually… I just felt content and cozy. So I stayed in under a blanket and watched “Sideways” (a very good movie… an 8/10… watch out for the male full frontal nudity. Yikes).

Anyways, so around 7pm the sun dropped below the heavy clouds and shone clear across the sky and lit up my apartment. It was crazy. It wasn’t red, and it wasn’t yellow. You know how a sunset makes everything look like it’s on fire? Not last night. It was perfect orange. Our whole apartment looked like a tasty and ripe piece of citrus fruit. It was spectacular. Now I know how James felt in that Giant Peach.


Assorted Assortments

Today is a grab bag of odds and ends, so bear with me. Things here at work have been pretty busy, and so have things outside of work. By no means am I complaining… life is good.

First off… I’ve always been a fan of Norman Jewison and his work. You could say that I used to like Norman Jewison, but then he came out and said something in a CBC interview about celebrity, and now… now I absolutely LOVE him. Check out the story here.

I think Rrroll Up the Rrrim is over now (I haven’t been able to track down a cup in a few days), but I’m going to hold out just a little bit before I release all my official findings. For now, my stats are still up, and up-to-date.

After playing Settlers of Catan on the weekend, I can see why people enjoy it, but not why people seem to get addicted to it. I’ll likely play it again before too long, but when it comes to board game addictions, I’ll stick to Scrabble and RISK (and I dabble in Rumio).

Tonight is $2 ticket night at the SkyDo… er, Rogers Centre. The Blue Ja… er, ‘The Jays’ will be playing some other team in a war of boredom attrition. Sure baseball is boring to watch, but for $2 it’s well worth it. Plus, I can be annoying in the stands and watch people.

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And…. We’re Back!

Water, rain, more water, more rain… that was the weather theme this weekend at the Chateau De Duncan. Fortunately, we had MORE than enough food, books, games and good firewood, so we settled in for some Class A relaxin’.

I put a serious dent in my Chronicles of Narnia (which I still have yet to finish), got caught up on some much needed sleep (and then started off my week with a late night and an early morning… Good move, Dave), and I made sure to beef up on my homemade donut intake. My body had been sorely lacking in many of the vitamins and minerals which can only be found in giant homemade donuts.

The house was alarmingly clean and dust-free and there were very few signs of animals. A few mouse calling cards in the kitchen, and the carcasses of two of the offending beasts (one in a trap, the other fell into a deep bucket and no doubt starved). Once we got the house warmed up, the flies came to life, and more than a few small spiders, but aside from that, it was business as usual.

The drive up was pretty lively though. We saw deer off and on through the drive, and with the water so high, I shouldn’t have been so surprised to see a beaver by the side of the road near Renfrew.

I’ve never seen the Ottawa River so high, and the dams at Chenaux (where we cross from Ontario to Quebec) were RAGING to keep the water levels under control. I imagine that all the warm weather melting the snow in the mountains with this week’s rain combined to make things very interesting for anyone with a house on the shoreline.

Thanks again to Par, Jana and Jared for coming up, and for all their help cleaning and stocking and chilling out. We’re down to less than three weeks before the REAL fun starts. I can’t wait.

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The Hip, Canada, and Me

When it’s a cold night in late November and you’re driving down a two-lane provincial highway with frost on the fringes of your windshield and flurries in your headlights, only one band will be crackling from your car speakers… even if it’s the radio. It’s the same band that shows up in a Romantic Comedy about curling… the same band that pops up in bars and clubs all across Canada from time to time to anonymously play gigs under a different name. It’s The Tragically Hip.

I recently got in a very unheated debate about my favourite Hip tune. No, it’s not “Wheat Kings”… or “Scared”… or “Fifty Mission Cap” (although as a Toronto boy, maybe it SHOULD be). These are all GREAT songs, and the Hip have so many more… “Grace, Too”, “Nautical Disaster”, “Courage”… the list goes on and on and on.

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