Dave Duncan

"Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway"

Archive for June, 2005

My Second Drive-by

This past thursday night was actually my second ‘drive-by’ in the past few weeks, and the first one was just as bizarre… if not MORE.

Shari-Anne and I had been walking in Trinity Bellwoods Park late on a sunday night. On our way out of the park, I stopped to push the button for a Pedestrian crossing on Dundas when a Suzuki Sidekick convertible (not souped-up or anything) filled with five stylishly dressed, muscle-bound guys drove by and slowed down beside us.

Now, on Dundas, the sidewalk is at the curb… and these guys were in the outside lane, so they couldn’t have been more than a few feet from us. As they slowed beside us, they let fly with a barrage of eggs.

So, the question I pose to you is… What’s sadder? That five ‘cool’ adult males have nothing better to do on a sunday night than to drive around packed into a tiny sub-compact convertible jeep knock-off? Or that they have nothing better to do than egg pedestrians? Or that they couldn’t hit us with a single egg from point blank range? It’s a tough call.


The Weekend…

We had a great (if not warm) weekend up in the wilds of Quebec. Despite Steve’s worries, Shari-Anne and my parents hit it off, and we had a really relaxing time. The fireflies were out in full-strength each night, as were the frogs and we managed to only hit one animal on the road (a raccoon, and he was already dead). I’m pretty sure we saw a Lynx bounding across the highway, but I can’t be entirely sure.

So after being exhausted by the heat, and then relaxing almost non-stop, I’m ready for a two day work week, and I head back up on wednesday night. I should have just stayed up there.

(Update: My leg feels much better after thursday night, and I haven’t been contacted by the police, so I guess that means that they didn’t catch the guys. CP24 showed up with a camera… did anyone see any footage or hear anything on the news over the weekend about it? I doubt it… BB gun drive-by’s are pretty slow news by TO standards unless someone loses an eye.)

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Too Early to do Something Complicated

Uh… yeah, so while I was cleaning out the PLETHORA of comment spam that piled up over the long weekend, I inadvertently blew away some of my more recent comments. Sorry guys. I guess I got a little overexcited at killing all that spam. Feel free to repost.

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Oh, What a Night!

I’m just on my way out, but I HAD to pass along my story from last night.

So I was hanging out with Shari-Anne until late (not having to work today) and ended up missing the last subway home. I was waiting at the corner of Yonge and Carlton for the Vomit Rocket with two other people when the strangest thing happened. I was reading a newspaper, so I missed seeing it all go down.

A car drove past, took the turn from Yonge to Carlton, and opened fire on us with an automatic air-gun. One of the other guys took a few shots in this calf, and I got a rebound off the window behind me into my thigh. I have a pretty tender bruise.

By the time we all thought to look after the car, he was long gone. CRAZY!

We waited around and made a police report (the cop was really nice, and took this VERY seriously… which was nice, if not a little funny) and called an ambulance just to make sure we were okay.

To make my night longer, I walked almost the entire way home before the next bus came by. Nice. So, I’m tired (which is why this might not make sense) but at least I’m headed to the cottage in the next hour. I’ll recover from my streetfightin’ wounds up there. 🙂

For all my Toronto peeps… be safe this weekend, and watch your back. Ha ha ha. Who does a driveby with a BB gun at 3am at Yonge and Carlton? Weird.

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Normally I feel bad gloating about stuff (being as profoundly humble as you all know me to be… and respect me for being… respect me heartily and profoundly), but every once in a while it just feels good to rub something in people’s faces.

You see, tomorrow I’m headed up to the cottage with Shari-Anne and my ‘rents. Rather than leaving after work and fighting traffic all the way out of the city, the father and son banking team have decided to take the day off (my mom is retired… so EVERY day is a day off, and Shari-Anne isn’t working that day) and take our sweet leisurely time heading up there.

So… while you’re all at work waiting for the clock to hit five so you can start your weekend, I’ll already be a full day ahead of you. Not to mention that I’ll be sitting in my muskoka chair on the front porch well before sundown.

I sincerely wish you all have a weekend like this before too long, but since I’m the first one, I bid you a hearty ‘adieu’ and a ‘na na na na na’ (which can easily be replaced with a raspberry PHBBT). Have a great weekend, and if I have time, I’ll queue up a post to keep you entertained tomorrow.

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Morning Meeting

I have a meeting this morning at 9am, so I’ll be posting a bit later today. I just thought I’d let you know in case you got concerned or upset (Greg).

Have I ever mentioned how great morning meetings are? Especially the ones that start at 9am or earlier. It’s the PERFECT time to sit around and discuss something vibrant and exciting that will shift the paradigms of business. I’m going to stop now… laying the sarcasm on this thick is too much work before 10am.

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Why, Jerry Bruckheimer? WHY!?!

First, I should preface all of this by saying that Shari-Anne doesn’t have a DVD player. I’m not mocking her, or even judging… I’m letting you know so that you’ll understand why our selection in movies last night was pretty slim.

Second, her movie collection resembles the $2 bin at Blockbuster… only without all the good movies. Yeah, that’s right. It’s not every woman in her mid-twenties who owns Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles I AND II. What a catch! 🙂 (minor sidenote: Jared might be the only other person out there who remembers that Vanilla Ice sang the theme song for TMNT II. Classy)

So, with few movies to choose from, and not having enough time to watch a whole one anyways, we threw in (sigh) ‘Armageddon’ and then sat back to “enjoy” the “film”. I made it through about three of Bruce Willis’ trademark squinty grimaces (you know, the ones were he purses his lips up and cocks his head to the side just ever so slightly) before I started to really remember how bad the movie is. When Ben Affleck tried to act, it was all over.

Looking at a list of Jerry Bruckheimer projects, I’m struck by how many are either hit or miss… really bad, or really good. Still… in the case of Armageddon, shouldn’t he be arrested or something? Surely there are laws in Canada against committing a hate-crime of this magnitude against the public… although maybe not. After all, Margaret Atwood is still writing books in freedom.

So perhaps I’ve gone a little too far here, and interjected too much of my personal taste (what with that whole Margaret Atwood crack), but Armageddon is a horrible movie. Shame on you, Jerry… shame.


Posting for Greg

One of my co-workers has been hassling me all day about my most recent entry … first that I was late in posting, and second that it was too short. I figure that a personally tailored posting will more than make up for today’s shortcomings.

I believe this is what the kids call a ‘shout out‘… is that right? I’m just so out of touch with my slang, ‘dawgs’. I used to be so ‘phat’, but now I’m ‘square’, ‘yo’. Word.

So in summary, hassling me about late or lame postings might result in a ‘shout out’ in here… but if you do it TOO much… well, let’s just say that a serial killing fisherman who reels people in with a giant hook has got NUTHIN’ on this kid. You’ve been warned!

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