Dave Duncan

"Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway"

A Beary Good Time

Yeah, so by now you’re sick of hearing about how sick I am, so instead I’ll tell you about how I cheated death on my way to the bathroom last week.

It was after dark, but there was plenty of ambient light from the moon and the lights in the house so I headed to the outhouse without a flashlight.  Just behind the house, a couple of deer were making a late dinner of the leftovers on the ground from an apple tree.  I didn’t want to disturb them, so I tried to be as quiet as possible as I headed down the path to the outhouse.

Just as I got to the door, I noticed a dark lump on the ground near an old rotten stump about 10 feet away.  I figured a tree had fallen earlier in the evening and went to open the door when the lump made a ‘harumph’ sound and got up on its hind legs.  It was a bear and it scratched its chest, harumphed again and then dropped back to all fours while turning away from me to trundle off into the woods.

It’s pretty uncommon for a bear up there to get rough with person unless it’s a mother who is protecting her cub, so these ‘friendly’ bear encounters are actually quite common, although that’s the closest I’ve ever been to a live one and it’s not something I care to repeat anytime soon.

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