Dave Duncan

"Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway"

Twas the Night Before the Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before the night before Christmas and all through the land,
People scurried and hurried with bags in their hands.
The stockings were piled in a mess on the floor,
While shoppers threw hipchecks in aisles at stores.

But I’ve bought all my gifts and they’re all neatly wrapped,
I just need to bake buns and then have a short nap.
The office is empty and I’m surfing the net,
I think my desk phone is broken; it hasn’t rung yet.

If you’re out and about on this busy shopping day,
I wish you good luck as you spend, fight and pray.
May you win all your battles for last second deals,
And may you find all the vittles for your holiday meals.

Keep your wits and your patience with all of your powers,
It’s going to be worth it in 48 hours.
Good luck, God speed and believe me when I say,
It’ll be even worse on Christmas Eve day.

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